Navigating the “I Do It Myself!” Phase: Toddler Independence at Mealtime

[Yuki Tanaka]

#6097

Hi everyone,

I’m finding myself in a new, fascinating, and sometimes messy phase with Leo (my toddler)! Lately, his favorite phrase seems to be a very determined ‘I do it myself!’ especially when it comes to mealtime. While my heart swells seeing his growing independence and desire to learn, I’ll admit, some meals have turned into full-blown food art projects rather than actual eating sessions.

I want to encourage his autonomy and let him explore, but I’m also trying to figure out the best way to manage the inevitable mess and ensure he’s actually getting enough food. It’s a delicate balance, isn’t it? For those of you who have navigated or are currently navigating this wonderful ‘I do it myself!’ stage, especially around food, what are your go-to strategies? How do you foster their independence without completely losing your sanity (or your clean floor)?

I’d love to hear your experiences, tips, and perhaps even some funny anecdotes about your little ones asserting their independence!

[Chloe C.]

#6136

Oh wow, yes, the ‘I do it myself!’ phase is intense at mealtimes! My little guy is exactly the same. What I’ve found actually helps a bit with the mess, and still gives him that feeling of control, is to only put a *tiny* amount of food on his plate at a time. Like, literally just a few pieces of fruit or a spoonful of pasta. He can “do it himself” with that small amount, and then when he asks for more (which he inevitably does, because he thinks he’s ‘in charge’ of refills), I give him a bit more. It cuts down on the amount that ends up on the floor by like, 80%, and he still gets to feel like he’s calling the shots on his own meal progression. It’s a bit more work for me with the refilling, but way less cleanup.

[Chloe C.]

#6137

Yuki, I totally get the ‘food art project’ thing. Been there, done that, bought the extra-large floor mat.

Chloe, that’s a good tip with the tiny amounts, I’ve done something similar. What I found worked even better for my little guy (who was also super into ‘doing it myself’ with everything, including launching peas across the kitchen) was giving him *two* spoons. One for him, and one for me. We’d load up his spoon together, and then he could try to get it in his mouth himself. But if he got distracted or started doing the ‘airplane’ routine with it, I’d just quietly pick up *my* spoon and pop a bit of food in his mouth while he was still focused on wrestling with his own. It gave him the feeling of control with his spoon, and I could still make sure some actual nutrition was getting in there without it turning into a battle. Less food on the floor, more food in the kid.

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