[Yuki Tanaka]

in reply to: Lily and her greens… sigh #6503

Oh, Anja, and Elara, you both hit it so perfectly! It really isn’t just about the food, is it? That feeling of wanting to do right by them, and then seeing them push things away… it’s like a little piece of your heart just aches. Hanna, I completely understand what you mean about replaying it in your head. I used to do that constantly, just agonizing over every little bite.

Elara, I remember so many times feeling that knot in my stomach, just like you described, and then watching my little one pick up on it immediately. It’s like they have this radar for our worries, and it actually makes it harder for them to relax and just try things. Making that shift to focusing on just being together, enjoying the moment, truly helped ease so much of that tension for us too.

And Chloe, that is such a brilliant idea about the tongs and making it a game! It actually reminds me a little of how sometimes, just giving them a little bit of control, even over something small like that, can completely change the dynamic. It’s like they’re asserting their independence, and if we can find those little ways to let them do that safely, it takes so much pressure off both of us. It’s such a clever way to encourage them without it feeling like a battle.

It’s a constant learning curve, isn’t it? But hearing all of you makes me feel so much less alone in these little daily struggles. Thank you for sharing!

[Yuki Tanaka]

in reply to: Lily and her greens… sigh #6496

Oh Anja, I completely feel you on this. It’s so draining, isn’t it? My little one, when he was around Lily’s age, went through a phase where everything green was “icky.” I remember feeling so much anxiety, watching him just push things around on his plate, worried he wasn’t getting enough. It’s like your heart just aches because you want them to have everything good. I used to try everything, but then I realized the more I focused on it, the more stressed *we both* became at meal times. One day, I just decided to make it less about the food itself, and more about just being together, enjoying a moment. Even if he just ate a little bit of the ‘safe’ food, I tried to celebrate that. It didn’t solve everything overnight, but it definitely helped ease the pressure in the air, for both of us. It’s so hard when you just want to nourish them, and it feels like a battle. You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way.

[Yuki Tanaka]

in reply to: Lily’s big feelings today… and mine! #6494

Oh, Clara, you’re so right, it really does help so much knowing we’re all in these moments together. After my little one has one of those big emotional waves, whether it’s the blocks or something else, and he finally calms down, sometimes he’ll just look at me with these wide eyes. And it’s like a quiet understanding passes between us, a little nod of ‘we did it.’ Or sometimes, he’ll immediately just go back to playing with whatever caused the fuss, but with a new kind of focused intensity, almost like he’s processing it in his own way. And those are the moments that make me take a deep breath and think, ‘He’s learning. He’s building something inside himself to handle these feelings.’ It’s not just about me letting go, but about seeing *him* take charge of his own little emotional world, even if it’s just for a second. And that gives me so much hope for preschool, that he *will* find his footing, even when I’m not right there to hold his hand.

[Yuki Tanaka]

in reply to: Lily’s big feelings today… and mine! #6493

It’s so true, Clara, about those moments where you just question everything, isn’t it? Especially when they’re getting ready for big changes like preschool. I remember last week, we were at the park, and my little one had his favorite toy car. Another child, a bit older, just grabbed it from him without a word. My heart just jumped into my throat, I was ready to rush over and get it back, to explain, to *fix* it. But then I saw my son just stand there for a second, a bit confused, and then he just walked over to the swings. It wasn’t a tantrum, it wasn’t a big cry, just… a moment of letting go of the car and moving on. And it hit me then, that sometimes, the ‘wave’ they’re riding isn’t always a huge storm. Sometimes it’s a little ripple, and they actually navigate it without us needing to do anything at all. It was such a small thing, but it gave me a tiny bit of peace about him starting preschool, that maybe he *does* have some of those internal navigation tools already, and I just need to trust them more.

[Yuki Tanaka]

in reply to: Lily’s big feelings today… and mine! #6483

Oh, Clara, ‘overwhelmed’ is the perfect word, isn’t it? Sometimes I feel like their big feelings just wash over me too, and it takes everything I have not to just crumble right along with them. Especially now, with him getting ready for preschool, every little moment like that makes me think, ‘Is he ready? Am I ready to let him navigate those storms without me right there?’ It’s so hard to step back and just trust that they *can* ride that wave, and that even if they fall, they’ll be okay. The cuddle afterwards really is the best part, though. It’s like a reset, a way of saying, ‘We’re still connected, even when things are messy.’

[Yuki Tanaka]

in reply to: Lily’s big feelings today… and mine! #6476

Oh Clara, I know that feeling so well. The toast thing? Absolutely! It’s amazing how something so small can trigger such huge emotions, both for them and for us. Just reading your post brought back a moment last week when my little one was so upset about a tower of blocks falling down. He just sat there looking at it, and then at me, and his lip started to wobble. My heart just aches when I see him like that, and all I want to do is swoop in and make it better, or build it back up for him immediately. But I remember thinking, he’s going to encounter these little disappointments at preschool too, and I won’t be there to fix them. It’s so hard to just let them feel it, isn’t it? To trust that they’ll ride their own wave. Your cuddle sounds like exactly what he needed.

[Yuki Tanaka]

in reply to: Morning dressing battles… anyone else? #6254

Oh Annelies, I completely hear you! The morning dressing routine can feel like walking on eggshells sometimes. My little one is also just starting preschool, and I feel so much of what you’re saying about wanting to just throw your hands up.

We had a phase recently where my son *insisted* on wearing his bright red rain boots everywhere, even on sunny days. My first thought was always, ‘Oh no, people will look, he’ll be uncomfortable, he’ll feel silly!’ I was so worried about him being perceived as ‘different’ or getting too hot. But one day, I just… let him. We were just going to the library. And you know what? He stomped around with such joy, splashing in imaginary puddary puddles. No one even batted an eye, and he was just so *happy*. It made me realize that sometimes my own anxieties about how others might see him, or even little discomforts, get in the way of his own little moments of self-expression. It’s a constant dance between wanting to guide them and letting them just *be*.

[Yuki Tanaka]

in reply to: Building Emotional Resilience: Guiding Our Preschoolers Through Disappointment #6123

Oh, KlaraS, I completely understand what you mean. That feeling when their little world crumbles, even if it’s just a block tower… my heart just aches for them, doesn’t it? It’s so hard to stand back. Just last week, my son was trying to put on his shoes. He’s been so proud of trying to do everything himself lately, which is wonderful, but then he got one on the wrong foot and couldn’t get it off. He got so frustrated, and I could see the tears starting. My first instinct was to just swoop in and fix it, take the shoe off, and put it on correctly for him. But then I remembered something I read about letting them feel it… I just knelt down next to him and put my hand on his back. I didn’t say anything at first, just let him feel that frustration for a moment. He eventually sighed and looked at me, and I just said, ‘Those shoes can be tricky sometimes, can’t they?’ He nodded, and then, after another moment, he tugged at it again and managed to get it off all by himself. It was a tiny moment, but it felt huge. It’s such a delicate balance, isn’t it? Wanting to protect them from every upset, but also knowing they need to learn they *can* figure things out. It’s something I’m really trying to get better at, especially with him starting preschool soon. I worry so much about him feeling alone with those big feelings.

[Yuki Tanaka]

in reply to: Helping Our Little Ones Navigate Big Frustrations: A Preschooler’s Block Tower Meltdown #6091

Oh, Klara, my heart just went out to Leo when I read that. I know that feeling so well, seeing their little faces crumble. My little one, he’s just started preschool too, and I feel like every day is a new challenge for him… and for me!

He was trying to do a puzzle the other day, one of those shape sorters, and he just couldn’t get the triangle piece in the square hole. He kept pushing and pushing, and his face got all red. My first instinct, always, is to just reach out and turn the piece for him, or show him exactly where it goes, just to make that frustration disappear. It physically pains me to see him struggle, you know?

But this time, I just sat there next to him and put my hand on his back. I said, ‘It’s really hard, isn’t it, when things don’t fit the way you want them to.’ He just let out a big sigh, and then, after a moment, he actually *looked* at the piece and the hole, and then tried a different one. It still took him a bit, but he eventually got it.

It’s so hard to resist stepping in and just making it all better, but I’m trying to learn that sometimes, just being there, acknowledging how tough it is, gives them that little space to figure it out themselves. It’s a journey, for sure, letting them stumble a little so they can learn to stand stronger.

[Yuki Tanaka]

in reply to: Beyond ‘Why’: Nurturing the ‘What If’ Questions in Preschoolers #6085

Oh Kenji, your post really hit home for me. That feeling of knowing what you *should* do, but then in the moment, it just evaporates when things get intense… I know that struggle so well. Even now with Leo in preschool, there are still moments, especially when we’re out, where I just feel this immense pressure to ‘get it right’ or prevent him from feeling sad or upset, and sometimes it just makes *me* feel completely out of sync. It’s like all the books and podcasts just fly out of my head, and I’m left just trying to breathe and remember he’s just a little person figuring things out. It’s definitely a constant learning curve, and I think just knowing we’re all in this together, trying our best, helps a little.

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